i hate it , really do.
as if you have full control of me all the time, demanding things. ive had enough.

enough of all this bullshit and i, honestly speaking, is sad from all this treatments.
you never listen, you never care.

dakara sayounara.

midterm break?

so we undergrads dont get fall break this semester. why ? ask the clark undergrad faculty committee....! but the grad students get lotsa break - since they deserve it? shrugs.

so my best friend just left for LA almost 20 hrs ago, and well, I'm happy for him and always wishing him a safe trip/flight and everything.
i had a rough day, did some readings, had some errands to run, etc. then i havent heard from my best friend since like...i duno, 1pm ish then i was getting worried but i thought he's doing okay and waited for him to call since i didnt want to disturb him and his "2nd home".

around 2am he called and i was happy. then my words didnt come out right - i think i said "im mad and everything because you're having fun and im not".
then he said, in a cold tone, "youre not happy coz im having fun?"
thats not what i meant. of course im happy for him but part of me is jealous because he gets a 10 day break ><>


本当にツライよ
泣いてばかりでもう疲れた
自分を傷つけてまで我慢する必要なんてないよね？
人のために自分の体を傷つけるなんてありえないし
コイシイ気持ちで溢れるばかりで自分が嫌いになって行く

一緒にいてほしいのに　いつも言えずにいるばかり

お互い会わないほうがいいのかな？
我慢し泣きくずれ傷つけ自分が何でコンナニ弱いのか疑問に思う
at the end of the day　大切な人は他にいるのかも知れない。でも私の大切な人は彼・・・やっと信じられるようになったのに・・・このような態度は冷たすぎる・・・冬風で十分な冷たさ。 thats the last thing i would want this season.