Sunday, December 21, 2008

the last few days...

school's out and im so stressed from being bored - but i love this feeling somewhat
but then weird things' been going on.... like i eat so much and never feel full. i cant seem to enjoy anything. i cant get enough sleep / rest

moreover, im really stressed and feeling lonely since all my friends have left so early for home.
so now im stuck in the snow, feeling very ..... empty. somewhat feel derailed.

ive been watching dramas and whatnot, but i cant seem to fully enjoy them all.
hmm.

and now that im moving out from the philippines, im debating whether i should bring one suitcase (thats pretty big) or two huge ones....
i mean afterall, im moving out so i thought it would be good to bring two so my parents wont have to move much of my stuff (like clothes esp) back to japan...
but blah, i honestly dont know, so im waiting for my brother to come online. so i can consult with him.

i miss friends...i really do. i miss civilization.... i feel physically lonley and emotionally empty.
this semester's been really rough on me.
financial issues, family issues, school issues.

i honestly dont know.
i dont know anymore.

i feel ill too, from eating too much junk food.
ugh.
but im broke and lazy to go outside to the market to get some stuff thats nutritious...

sigh-

i hate winter. i hope, and i really mean it - that next year will be much better for me.

2008 is coming to an end, and what have i acheived?
nothing.

great.

i just wanna go home, but like always, im dreading the long flights back...

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